Ok, I see the metaphorical inaccuracy here: Ninjas technically don’t defend castles. Got it.
But syntactical nitpicking aside, I would like to tell you the story of an online marketing ninja whose castle crumbled, leaving him scouring the feudal landscape for another castle to call home. He is a roving ronin, loose among the trees and the wild, living on twigs, berries, and residual income from a few random ninja websites. His eyes scan the horizon for the next fortress with which to ally. His sword glints in the sun, calling out for new enemies to vanquish. He smells just like the guy in the Old Spice commercials.
And he’s me. Yes, I will now tell you the tale of a warrior whose crumbled castle caused him nary a backward glance as he plunged onward, steadfast, driven, and in possession of all kinds of cool ninja tricks and secrets.
Alright, to leave ninjaland for a second, my previous employer made a sweeping organizational change that affected not only personnel, but probably the path of the entire company. Without going into details that might come across as petty judgments, because they would be, a handful of extremely hardworking, talented people who had previously been secure in the knowledge that their functions were essential were quite suddenly, and unexpectedly, shown the opposite. It seems that very little is actually mission critical outside of four walls and a ceiling, if someone important decides so.
I mentioned plunging forward with nary a backward glance, right? Well aside from seeking out a new castle to call home, I will be starting up a small side-business helping out other small businesses with that whole Web thing. You would be surprised how many awesome restaurants, delis, shops, and other businesses there are whom everyone is looking for online but who don’t have so much as a website. As I always say, if it’s not online, it must not exist. (That’s not what I always say.) Details of this venture are forthcoming, while I work on the website.
However, even ninjas need job security.
This ninja is looking for a stable company seeking to hire a Web marketing manager who can steer the ship in regards to websites, social media, email marketing, and other fun, mysterious 21st-century communication techniques. In fact, I’ve even created the Refer-O-Matic, making the process of sending me a referral as easy as a couple of clicks! A benevolent ninja we are.
Need some convincing that I am not simply a man-sized column of hot air? Click around this website a bit — it holds evidence of activities well beyond YouTube video watching and Dorito eating. Be impressed!
Still need proof of a professional intent outside of snarky blog posts? No problem. TryOurLA started as a 9-page, purple website straight out of 1992, Times New Roman and everything. It has transformed, hugely thanks to Shane Pike’s $10,000 Business Boost contest, into a downright respectable (but still snarky) place to find cool things to do in Los Angeles. TravelRNJobs.org, designed to pair travel nurses with recruiters, is today either number 3 or 4 in Google for its target search term, depending on when you search. I could go on, but it would get boring pretty fast.
Do you know of a castle in need of a hungry online marketing ninja? Contact me. Do you have a story of crumbling castles and determination to shove through? Comment it below. And Sayonara.
